Diamond Log

Hey guys! I've been yapping about a 'Diamond Log' and I'll put it up now.

Also, it has A LOT of swearing- it's my sick sense of humor.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Diamond Log

Started game. Named main character Sesshia, and rival Jun. Time to begin.

Yadida… Jun forced me to go with him to get his stupid red Gyarados. But instead we see Prof. Rowan and Lucas. Then we get an attempted rape by two starly.

I picked the one that looked the coolest, the weird turtle monkey thing. I tackle’d it to death. 

I dubbed Jun a rapist due to his…. Methods (COUGH!) of beating his (unfortunately) female starly.

We went home and my mom gave me running shoes. (go figure.)

Trained weird turtle monkey thing to level 8!

Then we went inside, got Lucas to show us around town, then got a pokedex. After that I went home and my mom and the rapist’s mother came in with a package for me to deliver to her (rapist!) son. Went back to Sandgem town, and Lucas showed me how to catch a pokemon. I bought 5 extra balls. Caught a shinx and named it Statix.

Training them now. Those little fools. Dance fuckers dance.

Current team:


Shellshock(male)
Lvl: 9
Absorb/tackle/withdraw


Statix(male)
Lv: 4
Tackle

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Moar next post.

Went to Jubilife and talked to Jun, he gave me his leftovers (thanks a lot!) which was one town map. Went to get the clown shit and got a watch for all my troubles. Then I fought against Jun, and beat the crap out of his starly and chimchar.

Went to Oreburgh and repeated the process, using Shellshock’s newly aqquired attack, Razor leaf. Roark committed suicide and left me the badge. (hell yes!)

Went back to that place to get to Floroma, caught a Geodude to smash ‘em rocks. (Name: Goldamn)

Made it to Floroma or whatever, and went to go beat the shit out of a galatic member who was guarding the entrance to the windworks. After plucking some berries and beating up people at the meadow, went back and kicked the tar out of Mars.

**Shellshock evolved!

**Statix Evolved!

Went to the eterna forest and was forced to go with Cheryl, who did nothing but soft-boil if chansey got one damage. After killing her and leaving her mangled corpse at the end of Eterna forest, we went to the Eterna gym and found out I would need someone better against grass types (An electric/grass/and rock-ground combo isn’t good.)

Caught a murkrow and named it Nightscade.

Then we came across a female buneary. I caught it and instantly realized that it didn’t like me.

Caught a Buizel to be used for surfing.

Went to the gym and raped all the pokemon there, including Gardenia. We got her badge, thanks to Nighscade’s Peck and Trix’s Fustration (which to my own embarrassment, one-shot’d all the enemies.)

Went to the eterna galatic building and using Nightscade and Trix, managed to kill Jupiter’s skuntank and claim a… bike.

Went down the cycling path and gave the newly acquired EXP share to Buoyelle, then battled everyone in my fucking way and killed them all, giving Buoyelle some much needed levels.

Spread honey on two trees.

Met Cyrus and laughed at his Cyan hair.

Made it to Hearthome and helped Kiera stop her buneary from running away (if only I was so lucky…)

Kiera and mom gave Sesshia a dress. Which she immediately ripped apart.

A girl from the pokemon fanclub bluntly told Sess how much her Buneary hates her.

Beat up Jun using only Nightscade and Statix.

Went to Solaceon town and skipped the ruins completely, stepped over couples and pair’s dead bodies with a laugh and ‘don’t mess with me’.

Raped more pokemon using Nightscade and Trix.

Made it to Veilstone. Went to the gym but Nighscade nearly got de-feathered by a Machoke, so we left immediately.

Began to look for trainers in route 214.

Looking for a Ponyta to replace Goldamn, she’s proving to be useless.

Current Team:


Shellshock(male)
Lvl: 23
Tackle Withdraw Bite Razor Leaf


Buoyelle(female)
Lv: 23
Swift quick attack watergun Aqua Jet


Statix(male)
Lv: 23
Tackle/leer/spark/bite


Darkscade (male)
Lv: 25
Wing Attack/nighshade/ assurance/ haze


Trix (female)
Lv: 22
Quick attack/Cut/Foresight/Frustration


Goldamn (female)
Lv: 20
Rockthrow/Magnitude/Rock Polish/RockSmash

Wishlist: Ponyta, Maybe a Girafarig

Went to Pastoria and killed Crasher Wake and his team with Statix and Shellshock, raised their levels. Decided that for Maylene, we’d use Statix, Shellshock, Darkscade, and Buoyelle. If we catch a Ponyta, then that as well.

Battled local trainers to train Buoyelle and Trix to their next evolutions.

**Buoyelle evolved!

Trix wont evolve until she loves me. That…may be a problem. :/

Caught a Ponyta and named it Flashah.

Flashah is having a hard time defending herself.

Went back to the gym, and is now currently attempting a miracle. :O

Buoyelle seems to be a lot more violent since she evolved…. O_o’’

We tired to kill Maylene’s team, but in the end it was reversed. Restarted twice and all three times she still managed to whoop me.

Her Lucario’s moveset was Forcepalm, Metal Claw, Drain Punch, and Bone rush.

Drain Punch was murder. Using Buoyelle to lower his HP, he managed to KO her with a Forcepalm, then murdered Trix by drain-punching her and restored more than half of the HP I spent time chipping down.

Sesshia then thought of a perfect plan. If we caught a Ghastly then only one attack would be able to hit.

So we caught one. Sent Flashah back to the PC, as we won’t be using her for a while. Then we trained Boo to be a killing machine.

At level 24 for Boo, we decided to attempt to conquer Maylene – again. Barely did it, a critical-hit Aqua Jet finished it off. YAYERZ

And right after the battle…. ** BOO EVOLVED!

Then Lucas gave us some pretty crap advice after helping him get his POKEDEX back about conquering the Pastoria Gym, which we already did.

So we obtained the next HM and flew to Pastoria, then talked to the Galatic member who ran away from us…. Twice.

On the downside from that, Rapist decided to make an un-invited visit. However, we left his pokemon’s mangled bodies in a nearby ditch.

We chased down that stupid guy and beat his single Glameow with Boo. Then Cynthia decided to show up, not help us fight through the scientists blocking our way to the lake, and gave us ‘secret’ medicine. (Probably birth control…)

We gave the ‘B.C’ to our Psyduck friends by Solaceon, who left (go figure, they were all females) and we went on.

Then the fog made it very hard for Nightscade to murder pokemon. Having to depend on Buoyelle’s Swift can be troublesome.

Went to Pastoria to get that rather retarded HM ‘De-fog’ and caught a Starly to execute it. Caught a Bibarel because they like being ordered around.

Returned Boo to the PC to take out Peckums (starly) and trained Statix.

** Statix Evolved! YAY!

Oh, I forgot that Cynthia gave us an old charm. It tasted like shit by the way. (Sesshia thought it was candy- It friggen looked like a life savo- ooh wait, those are those jade talismans… MOVING ON)

Upon murdering the trainers who tried to stop Sesshia from her goal, she made it to Celestic town. She dumped Peckums in the box and took out Boo again.

Some idiot with Cyan hair (Not Cyrus) tried to stop Sesshia, but Boo decided to de-figure the poor pokemon(s).

Afterwards, old fart (Cythia’s grand ma) gave us HM surf but we can’t use it until we beat the Hearthome Gym Leader (Oh thanks.)

Real-Cyan-Hair-Dude greets us, then leaves. :O

CURRENT TEAM:


Shellshock(male)
Lvl: 28
Mega Drain Withdraw Bite Razor Leaf


Buoyelle(female)
Lv: 31
Swift Crunch watergun Aqua Jet


Statix(male)
Lv: 30
Tackle/leer/spark/bite


Darkscade (male)
Lv: 31
Fly/nighshade/ assurance/ haze


Trix (female)
Lv: 27
Quick attack/Cut/Jump Kick/Frustration


Boo (female)
Lv: 26
Shadow Punch/Confuse Ray/Curse/Sucker Punch

LONG POST BEWAHR:

Started to fight Hearthome trainers, but since there isn’t any ‘trainers’ between Celestic and Hearthome and no stronger wild pokemon along the way, We trained ShellShock against the ghastlys and got bored.

So we left to do some epic training.

But first get a new app for our Tech.

Now walking around aimlessly to find some fresh meat for my pokemon to target practice on.

Went back to the gym to get experience points. Each trainer seemed disgruntled that I chose the wrong answer. “Can you not do math?” “Don’t you have a Poketech?” “Stop answering the quiz wrong!”

I’m doing it for your pokemons BLOOD.

**Shellshock Evolved


We made it to Fantina. After a couple faints, we have the assembled team. This is the first play by play battle against her.

Here we go.
She speaks a lot of French…

BATTLE, ON!

Alright… we See Fantina flourish her ball and send out a Drifblim!

Sesshia sends out Shellshock, her Torterra!

Driftblim begins with a super effective gust, but barely hurts Shellshock. 74/106.

Shellshock retaliates with a Bite! A stroke of luck brought Driftblim down to low red zone due to a critical hit!

However, Fantina doesn’t make it easy. She uses a hyper potion on her pokemon to restore the health!

Shellshock refuses to give up, using another Bite to bring Driftblim right back to mid yellow zone.

Drifblim now tries an Onimous wind, which causes more damage than the super effective hit. Shellshock – 49/106

Shellshock delivers a bite, leaving Drifblim barely bordering life.

Drifblim uses minimize to try to preserve her life force. However, Shellshock has won the first round by trickily placing a leech-seed. Sesshia explains that if Fantine decided to switch out, the next pokemon would be seeded. If She didn’t, then the ‘bite’ attack would’ve killed the Drifblim but leave Shellshock in the yellow zone.

Shellshock leveled up!

Fantina now sends out Mismagius. A level 36 pokemon who’s substantially stronger than the rest of Sesshia. Never fear! Shellshock has a strategy up his.. shell.

The fight begins with a confuse ray from Mismagius. Shellshock becomes confused.

And due to an accident, he hurts himself.

Mismagius decides to use Magical leaf, which scores an OK hit. However, it left Shellshock in the low red zone, forcing Sesshia to use a Hyper potion.

Mismagius uses a Psybeam, but it doesn’t do much to gain the upperhand. She then attacks using Magical Leaf, which scores a mild hit. Shellshock accidentally hurts himself yet again.

Mismagius attempts another Psybeam, which almost leaves Shellshock out for the count. However, the confusion fades and Shellshock begins his recovery, using a well-placed Leech Seed to sap life from said pokemon.

With Health still rather low, Sesshia uses a Super Potion to restore some life.

Mismagius instantly uses Confuse ray once more, but that’s part of Sesshia’s plan. If her pokemon gets hurt by himself, he still gains a steady amount from Leech Seed.

Now, Shellshock gets ready for an offensive attack. Mismagius manages to deliver a powerful Shadowball, which chips Shellshock down to mild yellow zone. Leech Seed does it’s job and heals Shellshock as he delivers a bite, leaving Mismagius down to the low red zone. However, the said pokemon eats a berry and restores health- much to our irritation.

Shellshock attempts another risky move! But before it can be executed, Fantina whips up another Hyper potion and restores her pokemon to full health! Shellshock accidentally hurts himself.

Mismagius delivers another shadowball, which destroys Shellshock. Sesshia now sends out her next pokemon, Buoyelle the Floatzel.

However, Sesshia seems to have forgotten Mismagius’s attack ‘Magical Leaf’. It leaves Buoyelle wounded quite severely.

Mismagius gets the bad end of a ‘Crunch’, leaving pokemon down to low yellow. A sap from Leech seed brings Buoyelle’s health back up to low yellow and Mismagius low red.

Buoyelle delivers the final attack, issuing an Aqua Jet and destroying that pokemon. Buoyelle benefits by a level up.

Finally, the leader is about to use her last pokemon. To keep things fresh, we swap as well, bringing in Darkscade for the final show down.

Gengar begins with a Shadow Claw, which doesn’t do much to the dark pokemon. Darkscade instantly uses Assurance, bringing Gengar down to yellow with one hit.

Gengar attempts a Poison jab, which leaves Darkscade to low red. However, the Murkrow fights back with one more assurance, destroying the Gengar and winning Sesshia her fifth badge.

Fantina lost with some grace. Sesshia got annoyed with her large vocabulary, and sent Trix and Boo out to murder Fantina. Trix used ‘theif’ and stole the badge. We ran off skipping.

After destroying that butt-fuck, and leaving her horribly complicated Gym, Cynthia stalked me and said ‘your not easy to track down’. She begins to worship me and then talk about our cyan haired friends.

And then Cynthia worries over them. Oh god.

In the middle of her talk about ruins and museums and the sort, Sesshia fell asleep.

Cynthia advises to go look at Canalave city. Which has another gym.

Taught Buoyelle Surf, so she can bring us to Canalave.

Upon arriving at Canalave, Rapist decided to attack us again. We left his team in shreds- literally. Boo was laughing sadistically afterwards. We then dropped Boo off to take out Flashdah for some intense training.

We went to Iron island and was forced to team up with Riley. We trained Buoyelle to no end there with Flashdah, bringing her to a high level to face Roark’s father.

After such, we found more cyan followers and with Riley, beat them to a pathetic pulp. They ran off crying to their mommies.

Later, Riley offered me an egg but Sess wasn’t hungry.

Sesshia decided to train Flashdah (new nickname!) and Trix for the upcoming fight, abusing Trix’s Jump Kick to win.
**Trix Evolved!

And she didn’t bite my finger. Her one hit KO attack Frustration barely did any damage. Like… -1 damage. I don’t know whether or not to celebrate this fact or not…

We continued on to his gym. We decimated all the trainers there using Trix.

Upon reaching Byron, he got mad at us for forcing his beloved son to suicide, so decided to fight us. Hahahaha.

First opponent was a Bronzor, which made Trix’s Jump Kick useless… after reviving himself TWICE we switched to Shellshock who seeded the blue asshole and drained its life. Two bites later and we have a win.

Next was a Steelix. We abused Shellshock’s Earthquake, but that thing had a shit load of defense and HP. We seeded it to knock it out completely. Whoopee.

Finally was a Bastridon. Sess got lazy so she swapped Shellshock out for Buoyelle. It wasn’t a close fight.

One surf later and Bastridon’s HP was mild yellow. Then he ‘slept’. After eating a Chesto berry he woke up. …. God damn it.

Buoyelle got mad and used surf twice more. Byron became a bitch and used a Hyper potion.

And once again, Bastridon played the ‘rest’ game. Buoyelle then freaked and scored a critical hit surf which basically wasted his efforts.

Byron began to sob at the fact I whooped his ‘strong barrier team’. Sesshia got impatient, so she decided how ‘strong’ Byron is if she pushed him off his platform in his gym. Which is about 4 stories high and you can’t see the floor.

His body was never found.

After exiting, Rapist told Sesshia to go to the library.

Upon entering, we found Lucas and the Professor who hates us all. Jun announces my arrival, which I promptly strangle him for. Jun ran away crying. But Mr. Rowan gave him the evil eye (and the finger) so he was forced to stay and sit beside me, where I gave him the finger as well.

Rowan begins to talk about evolution, where Sesshia laughs obnoxiously and says that she’s evolved her whole fucking team. Rowan ignores her and says that lots of mysteries lie beyond evolution. He begins to go on and on about pokemon who don’t evolve and legendaries…. Sesshia fell asleep.

Then Rowan hits Sesshia on the head with a cane. Or something. Anyways she wakes up with a WHAZA?!

Rowan wants the three starter people to go to each lake to obtain info for the Pokedex.

Oh, and Jun didn’t get a Pokedex. Haha, that’s what you get Rapist!

Lucas gets to go home to look at Lake Verity, Jun gets to go to ice-land, and I get to go to Lake Valor. Which we couldn’t get into previously because of those gay scientists that Cynthia wouldn’t help us beat up…

We digress.

SUDDENLY AN EARTHQUAKE HAPPENED!

Jun was hiding under the table. Sesshia kicks him with a large smile plastered on her face.

Everyone runs outside like chickens… Except Sesshia. She sends out Shellshock to ride on. MOVE IT BYOTCH!

And everyone Sesshia talks to is panicking. She laughs as Shellshock snorts indifferently.

Outside, the band of four begin to think. A sailor calls us ‘Old dude and kids’, and ‘something big happened’.

And an explosion happened at Lake Valor. WHY ME!? WHY CAN’T RAPIST EXPLORE THAT AREA?! GOD DAMN I-

Oh, Jun goes anyways. Haha. He’ll be in huuuuugggeee shit.

And then Rowan says: Don’t get over your head.

Haha too late. Sesshia snorts, returns Shellshock and sends out Darkscade, who proceeds to give Lucas the evil eye before Flying Sesshia away!

Surprisingly, everyone in Canalave felt the earthquake, but people in Pastoria are oblivious to it…

The scientists finally moved…

Sesshia goes in and hears strange music. She sends out her team of murderers and begins to proceed.

And disturbingly, she sees all the water has gone….

And lots of Magicraps just there… flopping rather pathetically. She laughs.

Then Galatic bitches notice her. She confidently sends her muderers out to do damage.

After piling up the dead bodies of the Galatic members, Sesshia entered the cavern and looked around. We see Commander Saturn… and laugh at his hair.

Laughing at hair is becoming an obsession for Sesshia…

Anyways he becomes cocky and sends out Kadabra. Trix is first to give him a taste of…. Murder. Or something. I’m not sure.

ANYWAYS! Trix begins with a quick attack, which does a fairly large amount of damage. Then Kadabra uses Shockwave. Sesshia laughs at the pitiful amount of damage it made.

Trix kills that pokemon with a quick attack…. We wonder why it only takes two hits of an attack with a base of 40 to knock out a pokemon stronger than Trix.

Next, he sends out Toxicroak. Sesshia brings Trix back in and sends out Shellshock. Toxicroak uses Poison Jab and manages to poison Shellshock, but one earthquake ends the battle ends immediately.

And then he sends out Bronzor, who nobody likes. Sesshia decides to use this body as armor for Shellshock.
Shellshock seeds the blue ass hole and it tries to attack Shellshock.

Shellshock bites it, which doesn’t do that much, unfortunately. Bronzor gets somewhat smarter and uses iron defense.

Shellshock bites again, and restores some health.

One more bite kills that plate. Sesshia cheers and tapes the body onto Shellshock. EXTRA ARMOR.

Saturn looks at our new armor, then says something about “Go to Lake Verity”.

So we go to Lake Verity and hear random shit music. And galatic fools are there.

So Sesshia repeats the killing process. This time, they try to double team me. Sesshia merely laughs.

Trix and Flashdah’s collaborated effort kills everyone in our way.

Mars got mad at me after calling Lucas and I a couple and went psycho. She sent out Golbat, and I sent out Flashdah. (haha)

Our rookie murderer began with an ember, but Golbat managed a bite before. Shitt..

Flashdah was switched out and replaced with Statix.

Golbat makes Statix confused, and the Luxray hurts himself by accident. SIGH.

Golbat then uses Air cutter, which cuts nothing. Statix snaps out of his reverie and uses Spark, which brings Golbat to low yellow. Statix gets mad and kills Golbat.

Mars tries to be funny and sends out Bronzor. Flashdah is sent back out.

The horse uses Ember, which does a considerable amount of damage. Bronzor tries to be even funnier and uses Confuse ray.Flashdah hurts herself by accident.

Said pokemon uses Ember again, which nearly gets rid of the ass-sore. Bronzor uses Gyro ball, which does squat. One more ember and battle over.

Her last pokemon is a Purugly. Fucking hell that thing is ugly. Flashdah runs away in fright and Trix comes out to play because she got bored. (She’s our master murderer).

Trix uses Jumpkick and brings the fat moma down to yellow, but it eats a berry to add on to it’s bulk and give it some health. Trix lets out an angry WHAT THE FUCK and uses Drain Punch to gain back some health.

It doesn’t completely kill fat moma so Trix chances a Jump Kick. It does the trick as Trix is down to low red after a Faint attack. Trix uses good tricks. (see what I did there? SEE IT?)

Mars begins to talk to herself. Lucas and Sesshia laugh.

Mars explains that the cavern appeared when Mesprit wanted to help its ‘friends’. (probably Fuck partners.)

Mars hightails outta there.

Rowan begins to worry about Rapist, who probably got himself raped. (oh the irony). And now they want me to go check on him.

Oh JOY.

Problem – Lake Acuity is somewhere far away, past Mt. Coronet. How the hell do we get there?!

Darkscade flies us to Eterna, which seems to be the closest link to Snowpoint. We find out we need to smash some rocks and use strength…

….

TIME TO GET GOLDAMN!

We take out Peckums for good measures – I think theres a Defog area there. We return Nightscade and Shellshock for some good rest.

I'll put in Current Team later.

After reading this, I must say that I need to start one now. XD

Epic.

+1 Cookiez for you.

O.o

... I have no comment